The Ryan Story (part 2)

this will end up being longer than I assumed.

part 1

part 2- It's Complicated


New Year's 2009. For the past few weeks, heck, maybe even months (I don't pay attention), Ryan and I have gotten along better.


We talk every once in a while, wave as we pass by each other randomly. Some might even say we're friends.


February. He sits with me almost every week. In youth group and during the main service.


I usually sit in the "overflow room", which is for people who come in late, have screaming babies, or can't find a seat in the auditorium. I watch the service on a screen, in a room where I won't be talked about or laughed at if I fall asleep because of my sporadic sleeping patterns.


But now, as we walk over from the youth service, he asks if I want to sit with him. Why not? Friends sit together don't they?


Over time, I could tell.


I found myself wishing he would hurry up and ask, already.


Did I want a boyfriend? Sure.
Did I like him? 


I didn't even know.


The night of Valentine's Day, its a Saturday, we're talking on Facebook.


I can't remember what about. Something about candy.
I promised I'd bring him some the next day. It was FunDip (best candy ever).


He was surprised when I actually brought it to him. I keep my promises. He said he felt bad and that he'd bring me some candy eventually. Fair is fair.

During the church service, he nudges me with his elbow. I've started to fall asleep. Embarrassing.


Tuesday night, we're on Facebook again.


He says "we should do something sometime". All casual-like. "sure" I reply, flippantly.


Me, hangout? Ireland doesn't just hang out with people. I'm basically anti-social.


he's serious. he won't let it go. "want to get a group together?". 


this I can live with. "okay, I'll ask around".


Wednesday, I send a frantic Facebook message. "Anyone want to go bowling Saturday?" I ask.


I get lots of "no"s and "maybe"s. now what? I don't want to go with him alone. too much pressure.


Saturday the 28th arrives. My brother decides to be chivalrous and go with me (him liking bowling so much didn't hurt either). Him and Ryan are friends, and this is not a date, so no biggie.

while we wait in line to rent shoes, he looks down and holds out a handful of cherry Hershey kisses. he says "these are really good". I let him pour them into my palm.


after getting set up on our lane and bowling no more than 2 frames, my friend Sydney shows up.

mush better.
three may be a "crowd", but four is a group. 

Ryan talks me into trying one of those cherry things he brought me. They're gross. "You like them?" I nod. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

When we get hungry, we all pool our left over money and buy some barbecue wings.


they're spicy, and we have no money left for drinks. the water-fountain is broken. we all laugh at our bad luck and try to finish our game with mouths on-fire.


We finish bowling, wave goodbye to Sydney as her mom picks her up, and wait for our respective rides.


Ryan tries his luck at that stupid, rigged, claw machine.


to our surprise he snags something. a little stuffed elmo wearing pajamas and carrying a blankie.


"sweet" he says, chuckling.


when his dad's truck pulls up, he turns back "you want this?" holding elmo out to me.


"thanks" I say as I awkwardly smile and take it. 

It's still in my room somewhere. 
buried under random things I've accumulated and no longer care about.

maybe

I don't think you even notice.

sometimes I think you do, when you look over and smile, or try your hardest to make small talk. it's not your fault I'm not good at talking to people in general.

but guys are cryptic. and you're harder to read than most.

I only see you maybe once a week, but every time I keep hoping you'll say something, anything, to prove this isn't all in my head.

but who am I to judge? I know nothing about this sort of thing. I doubt you do either.

by the time we figure this out, It'll be too late.

musicals make me think too much...

And you make me talk....
And you make me feel......
And you make me show
What I'm trying to conceal.

If I trust in you
would you let me down?
Would you laugh at me
if I said I care for you?

Could you feel the same way too?

I wanna know
what's the name of the game?

-Mama Mia!

Hello (by Evanescence)

Playground school bell rings again,



Rain clouds come to play again,


Has no one told you she's not breathing?


Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to,


Hello...






If I smile and don't believe,


Soon I know I'll wake from this dream,


Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken,


Hello, I'm the lie, living for you so you can hide,


Don´t cry...






Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping,


Hello, I'm still here,


All that's left of yesterday...


Hello...
 

The Ryan Story (part 1)

I decided this story would make more sense ( and be longer than two paragraphs) if I gave some background first.
I know you're excited.

Part 1: The New Kids


In 2006, a new family moved into our area, and started attending our church.
The Rathes were a family of six:
a mom and dad,

Danielle- the oldest, with auburn hair and a different last name (still don't know that story...); she didn't live with them, she was just starting college,

Ryan- the oldest boy, light brown hair with a hint of red in it, he was one year older than me,

(apparently kittens make you look manly)

 Patrick- the middle boy, shaggy blonde hair, and about a year and a half younger than me,

and Timothy (Timmy)- youngest, about 2 1/2 years younger than me, and he was a ginger (obviously).











After a few weeks of random observation and a few sporadic / short conversations with them, I figured I would end up getting along with Patrick the best. His personality was sort of like mine, and he was a pretty good skateboarder (this was back when I still skated all the time, even though I was not very good).


Months later, they were all my "acquaintances", and I noticed that the youngest, Timmy, was my stalker.


He would randomly show up a few feet away, or down the hall. He was always around somewhere.

This was a youth group scavenger hunt. Patrick (who for some reason shaved his head) is in the top left, and Timmy's next to him. Almost every picture from that activity had him giving me bunny ears. Yeah. I don't know either. And yes, we're in a porta-a-potty.

One time that really freaked me out- I noticed him following me down the hall, so I went into the bathroom. After a few minutes, I came out, and he was lounging against the wall about 5 feet away. When he saw that I had spotted him, he scurried off somewhere.

Almost a year went by and my stalker finally gave up. I didn't really care anyway, he was like 12, what was he going to do?


Me and my friend Mary Anne (front right in above picture) had a private joke, because her older sister Danielle was being stalked by Ryan. Well, not exactly stalked, but everyone knew that he liked her. Every once in a while he'd give her flowers- Valentine's Day, her birthday. In church he would always sit somewhere near her.


When she got a boyfriend, Ryan finally left her alone.


After all those situations quieted down, everything went back to normal. The Rathes were settling in pretty well, they had friends.


I ended up talking little stalker Timmy the most. Patrick was always hanging out with some random guys from church, and Ryan was friends with my older brother's group. After Timmy got over following me around, he was actually an okay kid. Usually.


to be continued...

this is just a filler.....I'm too lazy for more right now :)

I actually have two really good stories to share here, both of them might take a little while for me to write out, but they'll be worth it.

the first one I'm going to post is called "Eleven Days: The Ryan Story"

see how I capitalized the title so nicely? that's because I'm taking this seriously.

anyway, no one knows this whole story, except me. and now I'm going to tell the world, yay.

the second is called "Lessons Learned in Chat Rooms".

aren't you all excited and anticipate-y? let's hope I don't ruin your expectations.

this whole idea is just a side project, so I won't post as often as I do on Imprecision and Indecision, but keep coming back to check, just in case. I'll probably do 1-2 posts a week. hopefully.

once upon a time.....

Ireland decided to make another blog.

quite an interesting story, actually.

it turns out that I have a lot of stories and ideas and stuff that don't exactly fit into the theme of Imprecision and Indecision .

I can actually be serious when I want to.....yeah, I know. shocking.

I'm gonna use this blog to write everything inspirational-ly and stuff.

hopefully it will work out better than this post did.

sorry.