The Ryan Story (part 2)

this will end up being longer than I assumed.

part 1

part 2- It's Complicated


New Year's 2009. For the past few weeks, heck, maybe even months (I don't pay attention), Ryan and I have gotten along better.


We talk every once in a while, wave as we pass by each other randomly. Some might even say we're friends.


February. He sits with me almost every week. In youth group and during the main service.


I usually sit in the "overflow room", which is for people who come in late, have screaming babies, or can't find a seat in the auditorium. I watch the service on a screen, in a room where I won't be talked about or laughed at if I fall asleep because of my sporadic sleeping patterns.


But now, as we walk over from the youth service, he asks if I want to sit with him. Why not? Friends sit together don't they?


Over time, I could tell.


I found myself wishing he would hurry up and ask, already.


Did I want a boyfriend? Sure.
Did I like him? 


I didn't even know.


The night of Valentine's Day, its a Saturday, we're talking on Facebook.


I can't remember what about. Something about candy.
I promised I'd bring him some the next day. It was FunDip (best candy ever).


He was surprised when I actually brought it to him. I keep my promises. He said he felt bad and that he'd bring me some candy eventually. Fair is fair.

During the church service, he nudges me with his elbow. I've started to fall asleep. Embarrassing.


Tuesday night, we're on Facebook again.


He says "we should do something sometime". All casual-like. "sure" I reply, flippantly.


Me, hangout? Ireland doesn't just hang out with people. I'm basically anti-social.


he's serious. he won't let it go. "want to get a group together?". 


this I can live with. "okay, I'll ask around".


Wednesday, I send a frantic Facebook message. "Anyone want to go bowling Saturday?" I ask.


I get lots of "no"s and "maybe"s. now what? I don't want to go with him alone. too much pressure.


Saturday the 28th arrives. My brother decides to be chivalrous and go with me (him liking bowling so much didn't hurt either). Him and Ryan are friends, and this is not a date, so no biggie.

while we wait in line to rent shoes, he looks down and holds out a handful of cherry Hershey kisses. he says "these are really good". I let him pour them into my palm.


after getting set up on our lane and bowling no more than 2 frames, my friend Sydney shows up.

mush better.
three may be a "crowd", but four is a group. 

Ryan talks me into trying one of those cherry things he brought me. They're gross. "You like them?" I nod. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

When we get hungry, we all pool our left over money and buy some barbecue wings.


they're spicy, and we have no money left for drinks. the water-fountain is broken. we all laugh at our bad luck and try to finish our game with mouths on-fire.


We finish bowling, wave goodbye to Sydney as her mom picks her up, and wait for our respective rides.


Ryan tries his luck at that stupid, rigged, claw machine.


to our surprise he snags something. a little stuffed elmo wearing pajamas and carrying a blankie.


"sweet" he says, chuckling.


when his dad's truck pulls up, he turns back "you want this?" holding elmo out to me.


"thanks" I say as I awkwardly smile and take it. 

It's still in my room somewhere. 
buried under random things I've accumulated and no longer care about.