“If only, if only…”
The moon speaks no reply,
Reflecting the sun and all that’s gone by.
Be strong, my weary wolf;
Turn around boldly.
Fly high, my baby bird—
My angel, my only.
“If only, if only,”
The woodpecker sighs,
“The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies.”
While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely;
Crying to the moon,
“If only, if only…”
-Holes
This poem describes my mood perfectly.
If only you knew...
I really want to write a song, but I can't seem to put all this stuff in my head into words.
what I really need is a long vacation somewhere far away.
I really want to visit Ireland.
but I wouldn't be able to leave my friends
they keep me sane
even if everthing if confusing and complicated and stupid when I'm here.
most of it is my fault.
I make myself crazy and paranoid with all the excuses...and wishes....and plans...and hopes....
I come up with.
what I really want is just to sit in one place, without anything to worry or think about for a really long time.
but that's not going to happen
especially not now.
"Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Love your neighbor as much as yourself."
_________________________________________________
"May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past."
___________________________________________
Irish Blessings are my favorite things in the world.
I've been having a rough few days...
I feel like a crazy person.
After marching band ended, I figured it would get easier.
But the homework is still there, the random outings with friends distracting from art assignments and calculus problems...
And sleep. There never seems to be enough of it.
It feels like I'm running in a hamster wheel.
I don't sleep at night, so I fall asleep in class and don't learn anything....which causes me to stay up late trying to figure out the homework....
It's a never ending cycle.
I spend my free time staring blankly at walls...
Add to that a friend who is mad at me....for what reason, I have no idea. She won't even talk to me anymore.
She even deleted me from her Facebook friends list.....and you know what they say- "It's not official until it's Facebook official."
It makes it odd and uncomfortable that we have to sit next to each other in class every day...
There is also the confusion of this situation with a certain boy...whose name will not be mentioned until I get this whole thing figured out.
Let's just say he is causing more annoyance and agitation than he probably realizes.
Not that I hate him for it. The opposite is probably true....
I like to spend my time chasing shadows.
This combination can't end well....
And I always wake up screaming.
we must walk these paths alone...
but we don't mind
because we carry the hope of our future,
the joy of our triumphs,
the resilience from our failures,
the courage from our fears,
and the magic of our dreams
with us...
and within the darkness, we can find circles of light
where our friends and family will stand with us,
and we can always find our way.
we don't have to be afraid....
because things can only get better.
