knowing

just because we're friends doesn't mean you can ignore this.


I don't want to hear it...because by now I think I know what you'll say.
but I need to hear it, because there will always be a part of me that wonders "what if?"


what if you really did like me, but were afraid to say anything?
what if we could have been happy, but we wasted it...?


and what if I'm deluding myself and I should just give up and move on?


I don't know. I might never know....and that's whats killing me.


not knowing.


you know where I stand, and you've had plenty of time to think this over.


do you even care enough to acknowledge that? or do you plan on ignoring this, hoping is goes away on its own? 


it won't.


I'll always be waiting in the wings, wishing. but letting you live your life anyway....

 not wanting to ruin whatever happiness you find for yourself.


 there's a part of me...a big part...that wants stand up and say "you've had five months. time's up."
and take the situation into my own hands...


but I'm not that person.
the problem is, neither of us is that kind of person.


we'll probably both end up alone 50 years from now because we're too cowardly to do anything about it.


but knowing that doesn't fix anything.