being mature

turns out, I'm not so good at it.


I decided years ago that I wasn't going to prom unless he someone asked me.
sure, I could go with a group of my friends, who needs a date?


but I didn't really want to go at all.


but if some guy was crazy enough to ask me, I would go.


He didn't ask me. No one asked me.


I expected it.
I'm not disappointed.
I didn't want to go.


When I heard that he had asked her to go with him, I accepted it.


They're just going as friends.


He's known her longer than me.


He probably knew going to prom wasn't high on my list of priorities.


Regardless of the reason, I had accepted it. I was going to be mature about this.
Heck, she's my friend, too. I knew there was nothing going on with them.


When it started to rain that day, I laughed.


"All those kids out there trying to get pictures and get to prom without getting wet. Ha. I'm so glad I'm not going."


Anything to make me feel better.


I don't regret missing prom, but I know I'll regret not getting to go with you. 


Maybe I should have asked him....


But After Prom was fun. Weird, ridiculous, pointless, yes. But fun anyway.


When I passed you two in the hall together, I put on my good-friend face and said "hey guys!" and just kept walking. Mature. I'm being mature about this.


Everything was fine.


I got home last night this morning exhausted, and when I woke we had some family bonding over Wii gaming. Everything is fine.


Facebook. Every teen's lifeline. I thought I was braced for the onslaught of obnoxious prom-related statuses and pictures flooding my news feed.


But as I was aimlessly flipping through pictures of my friends in fancy tuxes and ridiculously poofy dresses....


...there it was. A picture that shouldn't bother me so much, but it does.


You and her, slow-dancing. A complete harmless activity between two friends.


But seeing your arms wrapped around her....I'm not mature enough for that.


I don't know how much longer I can take this.


Maybe I just need to grow up.


edit:
Good thing I have such amazing friends to make me feel better...